Buses that won't drive off without you.

So.

You know when you're waiting in the London rain for a bus? You feel like you're standing, fully clothed (hopefully) under a freezing cold shower, splashes of muddy water soaking your socks, and arctic winds blowing into your face. That red beacon of warmth and hope seems so, so far away. You look at the indicator. It says the bus is due in a minute. The problem? It's been saying that for the past ten minutes. Or it could be the last few months. The icy water is leeching into your head and stopping you from thinking straight.

Finally, the bus arrives. You squeeze behind 10,456 other people also trying to get on, only to meet a wall of grumpy, squished commuter-sardine hybrids, each wearing an expression which should be weaponised by the Ministry of Defence.

So you stand, in your rain-soaked clothes, on a rain-soaked bus, and think, 'That's it. There's no point in waiting for 10 minutes/5 years for a bus that arrives late anyway.'

So the next day, you leisurely saunter out, and see the bus stop just down the road.

There's a problem. The bus is already there.

You run. You get muddy water all over you as you do your best impression of Usain Bolt.

You fall over.

You land on your bum.

In a muddy puddle.

And end up having to wait 5 years for the next bus anyway.

Sound familiar? Well, you're going to love these buses.

These small sculptures of routemaster buses are gaudily painted in a variety of colours, just to make you bitter and twisted about their relentless cheerfulness.

The design behind me shows day and nights, to highlight, I believe, the many days you must wait at a bus stop before your bus comes.

And here's another one, near Trafalgar Square, which shows the landmarks of London you could be touring whilst you wait behind Mr SmellyBreath for your ride home.

I mean, yeah, sure, you can't go anywhere on these. Each sculpture even has a prim little 'Do Not Climb' sign on its base, just in case you try.

But the best thing about these buses?

They can't drive off without you.

If you want to see more buses, I've generously, selflessly and philanthropically provided a link to the 'Sculpture Trails' website here. As you click the link, think of all 6.5 seconds your tireless Elf put in to provide it.

Hope you're feeling all warm and fuzzy inside,

Elf Dryadalis