West End Live!

Your intrepid Elf is always managing to squeeze into the best events around London for your reading pleasure. After all, being six inches tall and avoiding all ticket fees - 'Adult or child ticket?' 'Elf.', I do tend to go where no others can fit in.

However, I believe that an Elf must always pick his battles.

And with crazy queues, there was no point picking this one.

'What on earth is all this about?', I hear you cry, 'What is this exclusive and oh-so-desirable event?'

This one. West End Live (and squashed), when theatre productions around London come out of the stage doors and perform little extracts in Trafalgar Square.

It's free (yippee!) but so, so packed, and you have to queue for about 3 or 4 days to get in. As this is the last day for this year's events, your Elf tried to get a view by climbing the steps of the National Gallery. As you can see from the photo above, it didn't work.

But your Elf is not to be daunted! You see, there are two sites for West End Live. Trafalgar Square is the packed one, but Leicester Square, where I am now, is so much calmer. Leicester Square is where it all started, actually, but now it sits there empty and forlorn.

WHICH MEANS I HAVE THE BEST VIEWS.

Inside is a little exhibition of costumes etc, with little workshops for kids. Behind me are a tutu from Billy Elliot, and a blazer from Jersey Boys.

And, uhmm, Kinky Boots from Kinky Boots.

There was even a opportunity for a selfie.

The holes are very high up, just to warn you.

Actually, they're terrifying.

Anyway, onto other boards, there was one asking you to guess who on earth all these humans are. Apparently they're famous actors and actresses. They missed out Elf Dryadalis, who will top them all (given a ladder).

Ah. To finish off the day, here's me standing in front of the Olivier Award, in honour of all the acting I haven't done.

If you want to join the crowds, move quickly - after today (21/06/15 before any of you read this in the future and jump on me), West End Live won't be coming back till next year!

See you on the red carpet,

Elf Dryadalis

Buses that won't drive off without you.

So.

You know when you're waiting in the London rain for a bus? You feel like you're standing, fully clothed (hopefully) under a freezing cold shower, splashes of muddy water soaking your socks, and arctic winds blowing into your face. That red beacon of warmth and hope seems so, so far away. You look at the indicator. It says the bus is due in a minute. The problem? It's been saying that for the past ten minutes. Or it could be the last few months. The icy water is leeching into your head and stopping you from thinking straight.

Finally, the bus arrives. You squeeze behind 10,456 other people also trying to get on, only to meet a wall of grumpy, squished commuter-sardine hybrids, each wearing an expression which should be weaponised by the Ministry of Defence.

So you stand, in your rain-soaked clothes, on a rain-soaked bus, and think, 'That's it. There's no point in waiting for 10 minutes/5 years for a bus that arrives late anyway.'

So the next day, you leisurely saunter out, and see the bus stop just down the road.

There's a problem. The bus is already there.

You run. You get muddy water all over you as you do your best impression of Usain Bolt.

You fall over.

You land on your bum.

In a muddy puddle.

And end up having to wait 5 years for the next bus anyway.

Sound familiar? Well, you're going to love these buses.

These small sculptures of routemaster buses are gaudily painted in a variety of colours, just to make you bitter and twisted about their relentless cheerfulness.

The design behind me shows day and nights, to highlight, I believe, the many days you must wait at a bus stop before your bus comes.

And here's another one, near Trafalgar Square, which shows the landmarks of London you could be touring whilst you wait behind Mr SmellyBreath for your ride home.

I mean, yeah, sure, you can't go anywhere on these. Each sculpture even has a prim little 'Do Not Climb' sign on its base, just in case you try.

But the best thing about these buses?

They can't drive off without you.

If you want to see more buses, I've generously, selflessly and philanthropically provided a link to the 'Sculpture Trails' website here. As you click the link, think of all 6.5 seconds your tireless Elf put in to provide it.

Hope you're feeling all warm and fuzzy inside,

Elf Dryadalis

Diwali in London

Do you know where I went this weekend? Do you? DO YOU?

Of course you don't. I haven't told you.

'You know what?', you ask, exasperated, 'I don't really care. In fact, I am about to callously abandon you and you London wanderings by cruelly clicking on the 'next blog' button'.

But alas, my unthrilled reader, you would then miss out on the big surprise.

Last weekend, I went to the Diwali celebrations in London.

'I know that,' you reply, so exasperated that the people at the Oxford English Dictionary photocopy your face as the definition of the word 'exasperated', 'I read the title'.

But, my dear schnookums, you would not know that I went to Trafalgar Square to celebrate it.

And celebrate it I did.

There was dancing and singing on the main stage, and the Square was packed. I went dancing along too, but at the cries of my wife (something about 'aesthetic crimes' and 'insult to dancing') I cannot publish those pictures here.

So instead, here's me looking glorious in front of some stores. Previous visitors to my little corner of the internet will recognise the National Gallery in the background.

The stores were selling pretty much everything from jewels to food (not the two mixed together. Awful indigestion).

Do you want to visit as well? The Diwali celebrations are on again, next year, at Trafalgar Square, sometime between the 11th November and 15th November (probably the 14th and 15th, to fit in with the weekend).

See you then!

Elf Dryadalis

I bought a couple of things at the National Gallery.

I said that I'd tell you what I bought at the National Gallery shop, and my human was here to help me take a couple of photos with my purchases!

As an elf, I do like bows and arrows. This set was £6.95, and it's almost all made out of wood - even the bow itself! I also appreciate the arrowhead, which makes me less worried I'll accidentally hit my friends when playing with this set.

I've been looking for a watch for quite a while now, but for some reason they don't sell any which fit me. So how could I time my playtime? I got a sand timer! It's much bigger than me, as you can see from the photo, and I might have to ask some friends to help me turn it round when the half an hour's up, but it does look very pretty indeed. It cost me £14.94, which was quite a lot, but since it doesn't need batteries, it'll last a lifetime!

I'll just be very careful not to hit it with my new bow and arrow.....

And here's a little bonus. I didn't know how to carry my new purchases home (a bow and arrow, especially in the hands of an elf, does attract quite a lot of attention), but the shop assistant offered me these carrier bags. The one with the lady on it cost 15p - I've cut it open so I can display it on my wall as a picture.

The yellow bag is made of paper, and it shows a print of Van Gogh's Sunflowers. I've also put that on my wall as a picture, but I have noticed that it does make a perfect sleeping bag for me.

*Yawn*

See you after my nap,

Elf Dryadalis

National Gallery

Hello there!

The very sky behind me looks like a picture: we must be outside the National Gallery!

The National Gallery, founded in 1824 (so it's even older than my grandma, Elva), holds all sorts of artwork which the public can visit.

It's really easy to get to as well. It's on the edge of Trafalgar Square, so it's about 5-10 minutes away from Charing Cross Station. It's free to get in, although you can leave some coins in special collection boxes to help the gallery, if you like.

I'm afraid I could only take this photo of me standing outside, since taking photographs within the gallery itself isn't allowed.

If you like, you can take a sketchpad and pencil and sit down on the dark green sofas inside the gallery, and draw the pictures hanging on the walls.

There are also three shops inside, which sell art-themed stationery and books, and also sell prints of popular pictures, in case you want to take one home.

I'm just off to the big shop; I want to get some souvenirs!

See you soon,

Elf Dryadalis

Trafalgar Square: Fountains and Lions

Splash!

It's so sunny, I want to jump in - but I'd get my cloak wet, and maybe I'd be told off too. The breeze blows little droplets of water from the fountain across the Square anyway, so I'm perfectly happy.

The fountains smell like chlorine, so I don't want to refill my bottle here.

Ha ha! It looks like I'm being squirted here, but my hair is fine - the jets are falling behind me. There are sculptures around the edge of the fountain's pool, and I can see dolphins and merpeople.

Time to see what else is around the edge of the Square.

 Rawr!

I'm doing my best lion impression, to match the gigantic one behind me. Nelson's Column reaches into the sky behind us. Lots of human children were trying to climb onto the lion's back, but I was a bit scared.

So I'll just stand by his paw, and hope he's not too hungry for elves!

Trafalgar Square: Nelson's Column

Hi! I'm Elf Dryadalis, and I'm very excited to share my adventures in London with you!

So here I am at my first stop, Trafalgar Square. If you want to come here too, Charing Cross Station is right by Trafalgar Square - when you come out of the main exit, cross the road (watch out - humans are very fast on their bicycles), and turn left, continuing along the road. You can't miss the Square!

Today was really sunny. So here I am, enjoying the sunshine, and watching the clouds go by. Lots of people eat lunch here, but I'd had a big breakfast already.

Trafalgar Square is probably most recognisable because of Nelson's column. I found out later that it was built in 1843 to commemorate Admiral Horatio Nelson, who fought in the 1805 Battle of Trafalgar. Apparently pigeons often perch on top of Admiral Nelson, but I couldn't see any today. Maybe they were relaxing on the ground like me.

Next up, I'll write about the fountains in the Square - where did I put those photos?

Lots of tickles,

E. D.