Imperial War Museum

You know what? I have absolutely no idea what to write. I mean, yeah, sure, I can joke about buses that won't stop, and point out police horses, but how exactly do I go about introducing a museum dedicated to warfare?

I can't exactly say, 'Elf went to see the Imperial War Museum, and had a great time' because everyone will be up in arms (excuse the pun) and storm, 'Millions of people have died in conflicts across the world, and here you are, enjoying it as though it's entertainment'.

But then again, I also can't say, 'Elf went to see the Imperial War Museum, and despairs for mankind' because everyone will be asking, 'Is the museum really that awful?' when it isn't.

And then I'll have to fire these cannons at whoever asked that.

Only joking. You're very safe. I mean, look at the size of this mechanism. How exactly do you expect an elf like me to do anything with it?

Anyway. Let's go inside.

Now, when you first walk in, you either think it's an exhibition dedicated to stairs, or that Heathrow really has run out of room for more planes, and is stashing them here.

This says 'TV Press'. I pressed, but no TV came out.

This is a very sad exhibition. It's a plane which was shot down. It's weird, isn't it? Everyone (including me) is taking photos, and reading the little sign next to it, and thinking about the history. But the point is, someone died flying this plane. I think that maybe, even though museums are meant to bring us closer to history, the very fact that these objects are in a museum setting distances us from the real events. Perhaps it's better that way; it means we can take a step back and look at a highly emotional situation with more objectivity.

Now this is an interesting vehicle. The black round bit to the left of the photo is a seat; there are four of them inside the back. Quite frankly, if this were public transport I'd be complaining to TFL. Do you know what this vehicle actually is for?

(Here's a better picture of the seat, by the way. Not even a cushion with a dodgy pattern for your comfort.)

The outside of the vehicle might give you a clue. It's for desert camouflage - this is a Land Rover Snatch vehicle, used by British troops in Iraq. The sign says that these vehicles became known as 'mobile coffins' because they were so lightly armoured.

That puts groaning about the morning commute into context.

This rather unpleasant image dates back to the Second World War, which is why the Nazi symbol, the swastika, is displayed clutched by the bird's talons. Now, 70 years on, the swastika has become such a taboo symbol, that putting it in public view is likely to cause serious offence. Books containing Nazi propaganda, unless also containing rebuttals of those views, are taken out of circulating stock in libraries and bookstores. We forget that once, these symbols were seen, 'in real life' as it were. Displaying this sculpture is a great way to remind us of how much times have changed, and the power that symbols have when given historical significance.

You might be wondering whether or not to take children to the museum. Although there are exhibitions which children can see, and there were quite a few children when I went to visit, I'd suggest that you have a good look around yourself first. Some of the exhibitions cater to children well, such as the one on life in wartime Britain, which has interactive displays and lots for children to think about. However, some of the exhibitions probably aren't suitable for children to see. I'm not saying that kids should ignore what's happened in the past, but some of the more graphic exhibitions can be quite frightening, and probably best left until the child is older, or they'll have nightmares.

Then there's the question, 'What do I buy as a souvenir?'. There are a couple of gift shops which sell tasteful items, such as the keyring I'm wearing, as well as replicas of ration books, clothing, confectionery and books.

I'd advise you to plan at least 2 hours for your visit. I spent 3 there, looking though every single exhibition, and now I'm exhausted!

See you soon,

Elf Dryadalis