Blackfriars Bridge

Yeah, so I'm just standing here with a dodgy line in facial hair.

It's okay, I haven't turned into a fascist, it's just windy.

Today Elfred was taking my photos, since, as a lovely treat, I decided to show him Blackfriars Bridge.

Well, what? Madame Tussauds, the London Eye and pretty much everywhere else costs money, and I'm not spending a penny on that horror of an elfling.

So Blackfriars Bridge it is.

It took 9,948 tries to get a picture of me without my hair blowing in front of my face. This is the best of them. Now it just looks like I'm sprouting strange vegetation from the top of my head.

'It's just so windy,' I apologised to Elfred, after I made him delete the 9,947th picture.

'I KNOW IT'S WINDY', the impatient elfing shouted, 'YOU'VE TOLD ME THIS A HUNDRED TIMES'.

You know what? This is the problem with the youth of today. They have such short fuses, and always want some new facts.

I did give him some, by the way. I'll even list them here, in case you and your elflings find yourself crossing the Thames at this point.

1. The bridge is 281m long.
2. Roberto Calvi's body was discovered swinging from one of the arches, with $14,000 in his pockets in 1982. The Mafia were suspected, but there wasn't enough evidence to convict anyone.
3. It used to be a toll bridge, but now it's free to cross, otherwise I wouldn't have bothered taking Elfred here.

Now, you're probably wondering what you're going to have for dinner tonight, and also why anyone would want to visit Blackfriars Bridge anyway.

For the first question, your partner informs me that unless you do your share of the washing up, you won't be getting ANYTHING.

As for the second, Blackfriars Bridge is situated close to St Paul's Cathedral (actually, if you look at the picture at the top of this post, you can see the dome of the cathedral in the top left-hand corner). If you're getting off at Blackfriars station anyway, it's well worth a look.

There's also a seating area on the bridge, equipped, as you can see, with a life belt in case you see any people drowning in the river. (You never know).

And it was here that Elfred and I sat down to eat our McDonald's.

With a money-off coupon.

Because I'm not spending money on that guy.

*Burp*

Do excuse me. It's just that these Big Macs are rather quite filling for an elf. I feel pretty bloated.

Oh my word.

I'm full of air.

Help!

I'm turning into a life belt!

PPPPPPAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP FFFFFFFFFFFFFAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

Oh. Apologies for the smell.

'Ewwww!' squeals Elfred, 'it's so windy up here!'

'Honestly,' I say, 'stop repeating yourself'.

Best,

Elf Dryadalis