Chinese New Year 2016

‘Where have you been, O Elf?’, you ask breathlessly, ‘we have awaited your latest blog post with bated breath, and can hardly contain our anticipation.’

Relax, my avid readers. Yes, I know you are avid readers; the internet is clearly so keen on your musings that my hit counter remains low in the spirit of the slave who was hired to mutter behind the Roman Emperor, ‘Remember, you are mortal’. So kind of you to help my feet stay on the ground in this heady blogosphere.

So onto one of Elf’s favourite times of year: Chinese New Year. Now, I’m not Chinese (I am Elfglish, thank you), and this is not my New Year. But as anyone who’s had a takeaway or Dim Sum will know, one thing the Chinese have spot on is FOOD.

Thus, I’m celebrating their New Year, and eating their food, and joining in their revelry.

Now, anyone who knows anything about celebrating Chinese New Year in London knows that the only place to go is Chinatown.

 And it seems everyone knows.

Hold onto your children, personal possessions and pet dog. This place is unbelievably crowded. The official entertainment didn’t start till 10am, but by half nine, the streets were packed. And when I tried to get through at 11am, I literally, despite my height and ability to squeeze through small spaces, got trapped. No one was able to move; someone had had the bright idea to use metal barriers to stop people wandering onto the road where the procession was, with hardly any gaps. A good idea in principle, but for people trying to simply walk up the street, this was impossible as all the streets cross each other – meaning you couldn’t cross any roads at all! In the end, a burly human lifted up one of the barriers and we were able to cross the road.

Luckily, because I had gotten there so early, I was able to have a little peek at the stores before everyone got packed like elves in a eucalyptus tree (mmm. Those trees smell so good. But that’s for another time). Every year, you can expect some staples: toys shaped like this year’s animal (2016 is the Year of the Monkey – when is the Year of the Elf going to be?! I know. EVERY YEAR.), those little twisted bits of paper that make crackling noises when you throw them on the floor, and paper dragons that expand and contract and are really quite ingenious.

Takeaways are always absolutely packed during this time of year, so I didn’t even try to get a table (besides, I cannot control myself when it comes to the buffet). However, there are some delicacies everyone should try during this food-filled time of year:

-          Sugared fruits – get them from any Chinese supermarket from late January onwards. They have things like coconut flakes and lotus seeds, covered in a serious dusting of sugar, like the old Frosties before they tried to look more health conscious. The belief is that by eating sweets, the consumer will have a ‘sweet’ year.

-          Nian gao – my human made this for me (using the recipe here) and I had three slices. I then had to lie down for a very long time, as this stuff is seriously filling. The words ‘nian gao’ simply mean ‘year cake’, but also sounds like the word for ‘every year taller’ so everyone’s eating some to try and grow. At least for knitted elves, it doesn’t work. I’ve tried.

-          Pomelo – it’s like a grapefruit on steroids, but more sweet and less sour. What’s not to love?

I’m just going to have a little lie down now and try to sleep all this food off.

Till next time,

Elf Dryadalis