The famous red telephone boxes

So I was talking to Elfina today about where I was planning to go.

'You've practically explored the whole of London,' Mrs Dryadalis sighed, 'just take the day off.'

Stalwart explorer that I am, I refused.

'How about the red districts?' I asked, innocent as Minty the Lamb.

It turns out that my remark, alas, did not come across as innocent.

'HOW DARE YOU BESMIRCH THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE', she exploded., 'HOW DARE YOU OFFEND ME, OUR RELATIONSHIP, AND THE NAME OF YOUR FOREFATHERS'.

'What do you mean?', I asked, 'They're everywhere in Soho.'

Elfina's response, I shudder to recall, cannot be published here, lest the Blog Powers That Be decide this blog is simply too shocking.

Anyway. I was out on my knitted bum.

So off I went in search of the red districts, this oft-photographed but seldom-used relic of a former age.

And to my vague horrified relief (trust me, if you've ever had a conversation with your spouse along the lines of what I had this morning, the idea of 'horrified relief' would make perfect sense), the red districts are actually called 'Telephone boxes'.

I'm six inches tall, alright. They're the size of districts to me.

Their unfortunate colour comes from the idea that red is easier to spot. Though quite how a pedestrian is supposed to walk down the street and promptly collide with an 8ft high metal-and-glass structure is anyone's guess.

Of course, there's the obvious question, 'In the age of mobile phones, why on earth have landlines cluttering the streets?'

Well, I might well reply, 'In the age of genetic engineering, why have human beings on earth who ask 'In the age of mobile phones, why on earth have landlines cluttering the streets?''.

The answer is, my friend, that the old-fashioned things not only look better, but might also come in handy.

For I promptly used one to phone Elfina, and explain, in the meekest terms possible, that I hadn't been cruising the red light district after all, and it was all a misunderstanding, and could I please come home.

She said yes.

Homeward bound now,

Elf Dryadalis